Monday, April 23, 2007

An open letter to white kids who dress like gangstas.

Dear Gangsta Wannabe:

Did you see me standing by my truck polishing the chrome when you drove through my alley?

I'm guessing you DIDN'T, or you might have had some decency to NOT hammer the gas, slide sideways, and damned near hit my neighbor's car, and spray rocks all over the frickin place. But then again, you might not, because you, and the rest of your gangsta wannabe buttbuddies are nothing more than dog shit on the shoe of humanity. I'm tired of you stupid assholes and your fucking BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM cars going down my street at 1 am.

Do you NOT realize how fucking stupid you look? You spend enormous amounts of the money that your parents give you to just go away trying to look like some dipshit whose main talents seem to be smoking dope and sticking his dick in any dumbass gangsta sperm dumpster who'll lie down long enough. Hell, some of those pigs don't even bother, and just go ahead and take a piece of ass. Wow. THERE'S a man I'd want MY nephew to be like.

You think assholes like Puff Daddy, or whatever that worthless fuck calls himself this month are worth emulating? You wanna be like fucking Tupac? Yeah, he was cool.

Right up until someone decided to use the car he was riding in for target practice. Yeah, I wanna bleed out in the front seat of a car on some street. That sounds cool!

Give me a freakin' break. You think some asshole who can't even speak english clearly is someone to be admired. Your values, such as they are, are completely, utterly, and totally fucked.

Now, don't take this to mean I think you're ALL bad. I have to say, I DO find it rather amusing when I find a video on Youtube of some gangsta tough guy who picks on the wrong person and gets his ass kicked all over the place. THAT is quality entertainment right there. AND, it NEVER gets old!! I could spend HOURS of time watching that shit.


So, in closing, I have but one thing to say;

PULL YOUR FUCKING PANTS UP! YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS!!


Oh, and the 20" rim thing on whatever you drive= retarded.
Calling your car a 'whip'= also retarded.


Do the world a favor and eat a shotgun.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Shit that makes me crabby.

OK, so I REALLY need to vent some anger 'n stuff. I plan on a few naughty words, so you may want to take that under advisement, and not read much further, cuz I'm not gonna be talking about cute furry puppies.


So, I ran to another store today to grab a few things. I'm on my way back, sitting at a stoplight, and listening to some quiet tuneage. It's a fairly decent afternoon, so I've got my window down. The chick next to me is playing some rap bullshit, but not very loud, so I didn't think much of it.

Apparently, the mouthbreathing highschool punk behind me in an Eagle Talon decided to attempt to wow said female with the system in his car, sort of like a male peacock during mating season, except MUCH louder, and with less plumage. All of a sudden, all I could hear was BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM. This I found most displeasing. I also wished that I was in the PartsGuy Truck, instead of a work vehicle. Then, I would have been very tempted to put it in reverse, and stand on the gas. I think an airbag in his face would have been just punishment. That, or a baseball bat to the head.

Maybe we can get lucky and this kid will do something really stupid, and wrap himself around a tree and take himself out of the gene pool.

Apparently, parents don't teach their kids to consider other people. Sheesh.