Thursday, April 27, 2006

You know, I'm bloody sick of having to come up with titles!! EVERY damned time I go to post, I have to come up with some clever title!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Ok. I got that out of my system. Kewl.

Today was a decent day. I hit my sales goal for the month, so tomorrow I will stand at work and bask in the glory and adulation of, well, absolutely nobody. Sigh.

I have decided that I am going to develop a useful little device to help people become better drivers.

What, you may ask, would trigger the PartsGuy's desire to help his fellow man achieve automotive nirvana? Has the PartsGuy's benevolent side risen to the surface once again, to help lead the world into a better, brighter day? IS IT TRUE???

Frankly, no.

I'm just tired of driving places at night, and having the interior of my car lit up like the Christmas lights on the Griswold's house in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Call me selfish.

Anyway, my little invention will be a tiny sign that lights up when you flip the switch. I'll probably have a selection of messages for you to choose from, handy, gentle phrases such as:

  • TURN YOUR HIGHBEAMS OFF, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!
  • HEY DUMBASS!! TURN YOUR HIGHBEAMS OFF!!!
  • ARE YOU A RETARD?? YOUR HIGHBEAMS ARE ON!!
  • YOU!! MORON!! TURN THE F%$KING HIGHBEAMS OFF!!

Apparently, the little blue light on your gauge cluster is too confusing for some people.

What brought this on, you may ask?

Well, your humble PartsGuy was returning from a trip to the hobby shop, snarfing up some r/c car goodies for the new toy PartsDad provided him with(thanks!!!) followed by a delightful dinner and a trip to B&N.

Keep in mind we returned home well after dark.

While sitting at a stoplight, some Audi Driving Yuppie Asshole(ADYA for short) pulled up on the PartsMobile with his highbeams blazing. Several people flashing their brights had no effect on this jackass. I flicked my mirror to no avail. This is one of the times that you fantasize about throwing your vehicle in reverse and turning the lights off for him.

Sadly, it seems to be a growing trend. I think people just don't care about being good drivers anymore. I blame Oprah. And Rosie O'Donnell.(gag, hack, spit)

Anyhow.

I got a new battery charger and battery for my new R/C truck, so now I have to find the perfect body for it. I'm thinkin a nice Chevy pickup one would be kewl. I'll have to try 'n get some pics of it shreddin' the dirt like a crazed weasel.

More later.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Some people make me nuts.

What is the deal with people doing 45 mph on the freeway? WHY must they do this in the left lane?? Am I the only one who's noticed that they do 45 EVERYWHERE????


These people should be smeared with bananas, and tossed into a cage with a horny gorilla.

That would amuse me greatly.

Anyhoo, I see that the DEA agent who shot himself in the foot is suing the government for letting the tape get onto the 'net.

I say screw him. Why should he be rewarded for being STUPID? As far as I'm concerned, if you DON'T follow the rules of firearm safety, LIKE TREATING EVERY FIREARM AS IF IT'S LOADED, then you deserve whatever happens to you. Personally, if I ran the DEA, this frickin genius would have been fired within 12 hours.

I'm willing to bet this guy is one of the cops in this country who thinks that non-cops shouldn't be allowed to carry firearms.

Anyways, it seems Agent Einstein feels a wee bit humiliated. Awwwwwwwww. As I said before, screw him. Any jury with an ounce of common sense should laugh him out of the courtroom.

Frankly, I resent this dipshit wasting taxpayers' money. If it goes to court and he DOES win, then the DEA should sue for reimbursement of any money they paid for his medical care.

I'm tired of people trying to make a buck off their own stupidity, especially when the money they're suing for is going to come out of taxpayer pockets.

Monday, April 10, 2006

In which the PartsGuy plays automotive journalist.

First, Chrysler brought us the Challenger concept car, to great fanfare and much drooling by those of us who eat, breathe, and live cars. Were DCX to build this bad-lookin' mammajamma, which the rumor mill says stands a GOOD chance of happening, they'd sell a kabillion of the things, ESPECIALLY if they managed to get it out the door for under $25k. Think about it; a RWD coupe with a 6 speed manual tranny, and the Hemi engine to boot? 17 year old boys are busy thinkin' about how many 17 year old girls they'd be getting into the backseat!!

But of course, we're enlightened now, so I suppose I should say 17 year old girls are busy thinkin' about how many 17 year old boys they can get in the backseat!

Yeah, whatever.


I mean, LOOK at this thing:




Can we say BOO-YAH? Imagine rolling up to pick up yer prom date in one of these in black. Your date's father would grab the 12 gauge, because you're obviously bad, BAD news.

On the bright side, chicks(and their moms) will dig you. A LOT. Which, as we all know, is a 17 year old male's reason for existence. Well, that, and eating pizza as much as possible.

So, our good friends at General Motors, not to be left out of the festivities, bring back one of THEIR storied nameplates from the dead for their concept car.

That's right..the Camaro. What American male worth his testosterone didn't want one? I sure did. And here's what the General hath wrought:




OK, what your humble correspondent would like to know is:

WHO in the GM organization is responsible for this? This is, without a doubt, the WORST example of GM nameplate recycling since the Nova of the early 80's!!!!

That thing, you may recall, was basically a Toyota Corolla. Gag. I STILL haven't forgiven GM for that. I probably never will.

The person, or persons, responsible for this design should be taken out and severely BEATEN. REPEATEDLY.

This thing is the UGLIEST blob of CRAP I've seen in a LONG time, and I was around when AMC was building cars, for cripe's sakes!! AMC cars were a special kind of ugly, too!!

But, the Camaro concept has them ALL beat by about 6500 country miles. It's THAT ugly!!

My promise to you: If GM goes ahead and builds this vile heap of garbage, and it closely resembles this rolling elephant's dungheap, I will PERSONALLY vomit copiously on every one I can. Further, I also promise to buy a share of General Motors stock, and blow my nose on the stock certificate, and then I will send a picture of it to Bob Lutz, who one hopes will provide this concept with the mercy killing it's absolutely SCREAMING to receive!! I can't find the right way to describe how hideous this thing is. GAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!!!

On the bright side, GM'll probably price the thing so high that most people won't be able to afford one.

So, to recap: Dodge Challenger GOOD. Camaro= TERRIBLE. Your humble PartsGuy gives it 2 thumbs down with an order of GAAAAK!!

Friday, April 07, 2006

This slightly irks me.

So, I've been sittin here, writing a post in my mind about making illegal aliens citizens. I'm not going to be able to add anything that already hasn't been said, so I'll just throw in my 2 cents. This bill should NOT become law. They're here ILLEGALLY, and they should NOT be rewarded for breaking the law. I don't know WHAT GW was thinking. It's NUTS.

And apparently, we shouldn't march in protest against this while carrying the American flag, as it might be OFFENSIVE to Mexican nationals, while they can wave the Mexican flag INSIDE OUR BORDERS.

Too bad the USAF can't 'accidentally' drop a tank of napalm on these jackasses. Wouldn't bother me very much.


As a matter of fact, here's a 'lil proposal for you.

Go find a place that sells American flag decals. Get one. Stick it on yer car. There's one on the PartsMobile. Tell yer friends, hell, tell yer enemies too. Pass it along.

Screw anyone who don't like it. Last time I checked, it was still a free country.

If GW REALLY wants to win some fans, he'd tell us the info gathered by getting these people to file the paperwork was so the US could round these people up and ship their butts back across the border.

Sounds cruel? Maybe. But think about it: When some illegal gets hit by a car trying to cross a street somewhere, and gets hauled to an American hospital, guess who pays the bill? Certainly not him. It's sad when someone who's here ILLEGALLY has better health care access than a legal citizen.

Scratch sad, it's bloody well pathetic.

What I find REALLY disgusting is the fact that the President referred to the Minutemen as 'vigilantes' for volunteering their time and risking their safety doing a job that THE GOVERNMENT is supposed to be doing. Maybe we need MORE Minutemen on the border.

But hey, what do I know?

Originally, I was gonna post about a bunch of things that irritate me, but I'm lazy, and don't feel like typing all of it. So there.

So, I'll just finish by noting that more blog changes are coming as I find them and test for usefulness. It's all good, so stay tuned.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Weekend fun.

Saturday, I went Geocaching with the Non-Evil Ex-Girlfriend(NEEG) and her buddy who wanted to come along. We managed 4 finds in 4 hours, which ain't too shabby.

NEEG decided to get herself a new car, which we took on our lil adventure. NEEG's new car has a manual transmission, which she's getting the hang of. She only stalled it twice, both instances bringing much hilarity. Other opportunities for laughs at her expense were taken as they came.

NEEG's buddy brought along his roomie's dog, who helped in our cache hunting efforts by stopping approximately every 850 feet and either going to the bathroom, or sniffing trees.

I managed to get some pictures of various things. I posted a couple on the Flickr site for you to see.

Later that night, we headed to the Evil Empire to acquire some supplies. After bringing in many things, I decided to assist UN by bringing in a case of pop for him. This caused Ouchies in a tender area. I decided to wait until the morning to see if things improved painwise, which they did. Still, I decided that going to the ER to check things out would be a very good thing.


So, off I went.

Just ONCE, if I have to be checked for a hernia, I would like the doctor to be female, and semi-attractive. Just once.

Such was not the case. Not a hernia, though. Just a lil strain is all. W00t! I went to pick up a scrip for some medicine, and was rewarded for my earlier ickiness by the appearance of several attractive pharmacy ladies. All is now well.

You know, I promised some funny, and this post didn't bring any. I humbly apologize.

I'm going to blame the time change.

New stuff.

So, for your viewing enjoyment, or complete repulsion, whichever, I've started placing some pictures on Flickr.com.

That's why the neat new button over that way. It's green. You'll find it. ==>

Ain't that peachy??

So, now, not only do you get written Creamy Goodness, you get VISUAL Creamy Goodness too!!

Will the miracles of the 'Net never cease?? W00t!

Now, on to some other stuff:

On the side is a neato lil signup for The PartsGuy Mailing List. Be the first on your block to know when I publish new, fresh crap!! Sign up today!! ALL the cool kids are doin' it!!!

Also, each and every post has a neato lil button that allows you to leave a comment . Use 'em to let me know how I can improve your PartsGuy experience, or even to tell me I suck, and should probably be locked in a room with rabid weasels. It's all good. If you're REALLY lucky, I might even respond!! HOW can you pass up such a deal??? Of course, if you so wish, you could send me linkies to really good noodie pics, but that's not an absolute requirement.

Later, I shall write a little bit about my weekend adventures. I promise it'll bring the funny, or at least make you glad you're not me.