Saturday, December 30, 2006

Lotsa stuff to cover.

I guess first and foremost, gotta talk about Saddam's execution.

I managed to find footage of the whole thing, but the footage was shot on a celly phone camera, and wasn't very good. Eh.

I'm all for the death penalty. I'm happy he's dead. A vicious murderer is gone, and now the people of Iraq can truly move on.

Now we just need Bin Laden a-swingin' from the gallows pole.

On to other things...

I was wandering around the local Caucasian Refuse Supply Procurement Center, i.e. WalMart, and I saw a woman I'd graduated HS with. She didn't see me, as I'm basically invisible to the female gender. Anyways, this girl wouldn't give me the time of day in school. Judging by her appearance, she'd been rode hard and put away wet. Is it wrong that it made me giggle a lil bit to see her that way?


OK, there's something that's been bothering me a wee bit lately. I've been noticing men wearing glasses that look like this:




Ok, guys, seriously...the PartsGuy has one word to describe these. GAY.

Seriously, the first thing I think when I see someone wearing these: "Gay."

They look stupid. Quit wearing them. Unless you're gay.

Your humble PartsGuy is giving consideration to writing a style manual for men. My working title for it is "Tuck Your Goddamned Shirt In!!"


I spent some of my giftcard monetary units on a nice lil vidgame called "Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War"

This is a way cool game. It has 5 diff gameplay levels, from Very Easy to Ace. I'm starting it at Very Easy, and will finish it at that level to get my bearings, then work through the other levels. Should keep interest up for the cold winter months ahead.


Well, I would write more, but I'm off to WallyWorld to burn up some giftcard money.

May the bluebird of happiness crap on your car.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Sunday fun


HowManyOfMe.com
LogoThere is:
1
person with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Sometimes, there's happy news.

From MSN.com:

" PANAMA CITY, Fla. -- The "Girls Gone Wild" video empire agreed to pay $1.6 million and its founder was sentenced to community service Wednesday for filming drunken, underage girls in the raunchy videos."

I laughed. As far as I'm concerned, Joe Francis is subhuman filth.

Men who take advantage of drunk women are pigs who prove the anti-male feminists right, and should be punished severely. And let's face it, that's what Francis does, and the worst part is, HE PROFITS FROM IT. I'm certain 1.6 million ain't gonna put much of a dent in his lifestyle. One could hope, but I doubt it. I'd LOVE to hear some pissed off father or brother beat the living shit out of this guy. I'd bet he's got a bodyguard or two, the coward.

Those of us men who hold ourselves to a higher standard need to start speaking up. The next time some guy brags about nailing some drunk chick, he should be made to feel like the trash he is. I'd start by pointing out he obviously has no game.

I'm also suggesting that we as men don't buy GGW DVDs. Don't enrichen this asshole any further.


Wouldn't it be nice to hear that asshole went bankrupt?? I'd dance for joy.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Day after T-day shopping thoughts.

So, being the semi-adventurous person I am, I decided I'd accompany my buddy's GF to WalMart for the 5-11 am sale.

This required your correspondent to be awake at the ungodly hour of 4 am. Now, the last time I was awake at 4:30 am, I'd been out most of the previous night enjoying adult beverages.

I had a specific assignment: Obtain 2 Cabbage Patch Cuddle Buddies, or whatever. Like I'm paying attention. There's chicks to scope out. Anyway, as the 5 o'clock hour approached, the small group I'd been part of expanded in numbers. I'd brought along my celly, just in case we got separated, so I wouldn't be wandering around the store with a dazed look in my eyes carrying a couple of freaking stuffed dolls.

I got to thinking while I was waiting for the signal to cut the shrinkwrap. Thoughts ran through my head like "I cannot BELIEVE I am standing in a freaking WALMART at 4 f**kin' thirty in the bloody AM, awaiting 5 o'clock to get a couple of stupid dolls!!" That, along with " I'm going to get killed, I can sense it. I'm not destined to meet my end in a fiery car accident, or by the shotgun of a jealous husband."

I'd brought along my celly, just in case we got separated, so I wouldn't be wandering around the store with a dazed look in my eyes carrying a couple of freaking stuffed dolls.I called up L and said "You realize, if I get injured doing this, I will NEVER forgive you." That got a laugh from everyone around me. Hey, I'm ok with shopping, I just wasn't too hip on the idea of having a WalMart shopping cart up my ass, is all.

I can just see waking up from THAT..

"Well, Mr. PartsGuy, we were able to remove the shopping cart from your ass. On the bright side, you shouldn't be bothered by hemorroids anytime in the next 40 years. Also, you'll probably be able to carry a bowling ball with no hands."

Yipes.

Anyway, all went well with that, as when they cut the shrinkwrap, I used height to my advantage and swooped a couple up. My task completed, I got out of there before the old ladies figured out what was up and used their canes on me.

Soon, I shall be done with the monumental task of Xmas shopping, and can go back to shopping for goodies for myself. Can't wait.

Something tells me I'll probably be in bed by 9 tonight, nap or not.


May the bluebird of happiness crap on your car.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

New project.

So, I've decided to embark on a new project, a fairly longterm one.

Your humble PartsGuy needs to lose a lil' bit heap of excess poundage.

When you step on the scale at the doc's office, and yer a bit north of 275, well, ya might wanna consider cutting back a wee bit. This I have done. I quit caffeine 3 weeks ago. Pop went by the wayside this past Tuesday. Calorie counting starts tomorrow, along with getting my happy ass some exercise for 1/2 hour or so a night.

So, your PartsGuy needs a lil' favor. I've decided to go ahead and give a real good run at dropping, say, 75 pounds. I know this is gonna take a while, but hey, it took a while to put it on in the first place.

My target weight is going to be 220 lbs. When I did the Body For Life thingy a while back, I got down to 227 and felt utterly fan-frickin'-tastic. After a couple of accidents at work, my back isn't what it used to be, so I had to quit the workouts.

So, to that end, I plan on consulting with the BFL people, and seeing if the workout can be modified somewhat, so I don't do any further damage to my back than's already been done.

Anyways, back to the lil' favor part. If you can, sometime during your busy schedule, find a few minutes to either post a comment, or get hold of me in some way, and ask how the weight loss thinger is coming along, that'd be just spiffy. If you've got my phone #'s, hey, gimme a shout and harass me too. I would appreciate it, and would be glad to return the favor for you. I got a lotta anytime minutes on my celly, might as well burn some up!!

Once I get up and rolling, I'll make sure to try and post updates as to how close I am to the target. Feel free to join me if'n you need to shed yer spare tire. We can encourage each other.

Call it the PartsGuy LardAss Challenge!

As I said, if you can find time to harass me, please do so. Then next summer, I'll post pics of the IMPROVED PartsGuy!!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Sunday Thoughts.

Yep, AGAIN, my football team managed to freakin' find a way to lose. AND, my boy Tony Stewart didn't win either. The only thing that keeps it from being a total bummer is that Jimmie Johnson didn't win. Maybe he was depressed about his boyfriend Jeffy Gordon marrying some model chick, I don't know.


Anyways.

I was walking through the local Caucasian Refuse Fulfillment Center, otherwise known as WalMart, when I was struck with a Brilliant Flash of Inspiration:

I must create a game called WalMart Bingo.

Instead of numbers, you wait till you see certain things that are VERY common to Walmarts, and cross it off until you get Bingo. Items such as:
  • Screaming kid in cart.
  • Guy wearing tank top, covered in tattoos. Bonus points if it's winter, or the ink is poorly done.
  • Preggo woman, with at least 2 kids running around cart and screaming.
Stuff like that. I mean, if ya gotta be stuck inna Walmart shopping, might as well make it amusing, no??


I'm not looking forward to Xmas. I'm thinking of just buying everyone tools from work! Wrench sets for EVERYBODY!!


PartsMom asked what I wanted for my birthday. I suggested a nice giftcard. I've got enough socks.

That's one of the things that really blows about being an adult. Forget toys. You get socks.

I can buy socks. I WANT TOYS, DAMMIT!!!!


Yep, that's me. Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

More ranting and raving later.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

A flea and a fly, and the Flu.

So, your humble correspondent is slightly under the weather. The flu has landed at Stately PartsGuy Manor, and is in the middle of some severe asskicking. I was so sick I actually took a sick day. I also proceeded to sleep 14-16 hours of the next 24.

For the first time in YEARS, I ate Campbell's chicken noodle soup.

I HATE Campbell's chicken noodle soup!


I'm here to tell you, I never thought dry toast could taste so good!!

Now, as soon as this passes, I'm gonna get me a cheeseburger!!!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Anniversaries.

This is going to be one of the hardest posts I've yet written, if not the hardest to read.

October 23, 2005 will probably be seared into my memory banks for a long time to come.

October 23, 2005 is the day I lost one of my best friends.

I'd just woken up, gotten a can of Diet Coke, and cranked on my computer to look at the news and stuff. I opened my Yahoo messenger thingy, and started reading the news.

A buddy messaged me with the news. I hopped offline and called her husband. As soon as he answered the phone, I knew it was true. Hearing the shock and pain in his voice damned near did me in.

The time up to the funeral service is nothing but a blur. Emailing people back and forth, phone calls, and the trip down don't even register in the memory banks.

I remember standing with my friend Scott outside just before the service, both of us looking off into the distance, talking about trivial things.

I also remember turning to him and saying "Let's go do this." and walking in.

This was the first funeral I've ever attended. I'd known J had a lot of friends, but I hadn't expected the entire chapel to be chock full.

Definitely one of the most surreal experiences of my life, listening to the speakers talk about her and her life.

I miss her very much.

J was an big part of my life. She always had time to listen to a half-crazy parts guy, and wasn't afraid to give me a verbal kick in the ass if I had it coming. We were close, close enough so when her daughter was born, her husband joked he knew she was his child, because the kid wasn't born with a goatee!!!


I hadn't been down to visit in a while, what with being 6 hours away. I regret that now.

Just recently, I got some pics of her daughter in an email. Spittin' image.

Another memory of that weekend was after the service. A few of us were standing around talking, and it occurred to us that the Pizza Hut across the parking lot might be a better place to talk than in a parking lot.

There were 15-20 of us, all quite boisterous, and yelling for more beer every 10 minutes or so. I still chuckle, thinking about that poor server who was scared to death of this table full of crazy people, and I remember thinking J would consider that a proper sendoff.

Do your PartsGuy a favor, willya?

Call up an old friend you haven't spoken to in some time, just because you can.

What I haven't been able to figure out is why I haven't cried my eyes out yet.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Your inner Og.

Some time ago, I threatened to joked about writing a self help book called "Embracing Your Inner Og" .

So, after much consideration, plus my favorite porn site educational website was down, I have decided to let you all in some of the secrets of embracing YOUR inner Og.

You can thank me later. Preferably in small unmarked bills or really cool stuff.

Anyhow.

In the last 5-10 years, we as men have been forced to suffer MANY indignities. These would include:

  • Sharing feelings.
  • Becoming 'sensitive'.
  • Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah.
  • The TV show 'Home Improvement'.

None of these are world ending. Sadly, I had to add 'Home Improvement' to that list after the writers decided that the male lead apparently needed to become a completely inept asshole who was kept alive only by his sainted wife who could do no wrong. I stopped watching the show because I figured it was easier to do that than repair the damage caused by my throwing the TV out the front window of Stately PartsGuy Manor. Plus, at the time, 27" TVs were spendy.


I will grant that some things aren't so bad, for example, men do NOT need to be beating the living shit out of their spouses. Some of their kids, well, ya know, a decent asskicking does a world of good.


So.

We come to the things that every man who wants to release his inner Og should celebrate. I'm listing them in no particular order, cause they're all equally important, plus I'm too lazy to spend a lot of time on this.

1) Fire.

Us Ogs LOVE us some fire. The bigger, the better. Hell yeah. If you can't get within 5 feet of the actual fire because you fear you'll combust, well, THAT, my friends, is a FIRE. Boo-freakin'-yah.

Of course, the fact that we can throw things into said fire and watch them burn, things such as pics of old GFs, credit card statements, Hippies, copper wire (makes real cool colors) just makes it THAT MUCH BETTER.

Plus, fire allows us Ogs to do something else we like:

2) Cook meat.

For our vegetarian friends, well, I'm sorry, but NOTHING makes your inner Og more joyful than grabbing a chunk of some tasty animal, tossing it on a grill, and allowing your senses the opportunity to bathe in the sensations that only cooking meat can provide. Steaks cooking on an open fire is a VERY sensual experience.

Your eyes cannot help but be drawn to the way the flames dance and leap around the steak.

Your ears hear the sizzles and pops as the meat cooks.

Your nose takes in the glorious aroma of the steak cooking.

Your sense of touch is fulfilled when you grab the steak from the grill, and then realize that SON OF A B**** IS THAT THING F**KING HOT!!!!

And finally, your last sense is fulfilled when you cut that first hunk of gloriously flame cooked meat, and the juice caresses your tastebuds.

And any guy reading this who ISN'T suddenly craving a steak?

Well, perhaps you should ask your significant other if you might have your testicles back.

Annnnnnnnnnnnd speaking of significant others...

3) Leering at Enjoying the sight of a beautiful woman.

Truthfully, gentlemen, who among us has NOT stopped to admire an attractive lady?

And by that, I mean when your SO ISN'T around. Getting whacked in the head with a purse can be painful, or so I hear.

Sometimes, it's hard to explain the attraction. It could be that the outfit she's wearing flatters her figure most wonderfully, or it could be that she walks by, and the perfume she's wearing pleases your nose immensely. Remember those Folger's commercials from a few years back, with the lady and her suitor who finally got together over a series of commercials? If not, well, ask someone older than you.

Anyhow, for some reason, I found that lady attractive. Why? Dunno. Did the question of Why Her? stop me from drooling over her and fantasizing about hot tub suites and a 'do not disturb' sign?

Nope.

And despite what some feminists might say, personally I'm of the opinion that if you're out in publice somewhere, and some lady walks in dressed to kill, well, that shit don't happen on accident, I'm here to tell ya. That lady spent god knows how long getting ready. It would be rude to NOT appreciate the effort she spent doing so.
Also, it would be rude to not acknowledge the effort. I personally would say something along the lines of " My GOD, you look absolutely stunning! When you walked in, I damn near fell down!" That's all.

A word of warning: Pick your words as carefully as you picked your last vehicle. If you think something along the lines of " GODDAMN, woman!! I'd liketa bend you over a pool table and give you a thorough rogerin' " is good, well, when you're being escorted from wherever, with her 3" heel sticking out of your ass, you might decide to rework your approach while the ER doc takes pics of you flopped on your gut with Payless Shoe's finest buried in your hinder.

And, in case you were wondering, I have NEVER run into a woman yet who's been insulted by being called gorgeous. EVER.

And guys, I'm here to tell you, you should NOT be ashamed of indulging yourself in a little observation. My only suggestion to you is, better get her eye color first, because that's the first thing any woman who catches you will ask. Trust me on this. If you don't, then you risk her blowing up on you.

Speaking of which...

4)Explosions.

What man among us has NOT watched a tv show about blowing up abandoned buildings and been completely enthralled?

Not any worth knowing, that's for sure.

I think that blowing stuff up is no end of fun, when done for the right reasons, such as it's Friday.

You can't tell me when some scientist is perfoming a test in some lab somewhere that his inner Og isn't dancing with glee, because he might get to see something go BOOM! Us Ogs love us some destruction. Preferably VERY LOUD destruction. Every once in a while, ya just gotta blow some shit up. It fulfills the soul.

What I think would be cool, is a 2 hour special called "Blowing S**t UP!".

Put that bad boy on cable, so's you could have women wearing next to nothing throwing the switches that cause 40 lbs of C4 to take out the supporting beams of some old building. When I think of this, 2 words come to mind: GLOBAL BLOCKBUSTER.

Every guy I know would be parked in front of his tv, cheering like a madman. I'd even turn MY TV on for that.


There's probably more to embracing your Inner Og, but this should be good enough to give you a start.


I know I haven't been blogging much. Mainly, I haven't been inspired to. My little green notebook has more ideas in it, I just need to flesh them out a wee bit.

As always, may the bluebird of happiness crap on your car.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Neato discovery.

So, today I went to a big 'n tall men's store with my buddy's GF, cause she wanted to get him some boxers.

Turns out that your humble PartsGuy, who's a rather portly individual, can also find clothes that FIT!!!!

This is an awesome discovery, ranking right up with when I figured out what the song 'Afternoon Delight' was actually about!!

Another exciting development: I found the lil notebook I carry around to scribble down blog post ideas!! You know what this means??


Yeah. Probably not a whole freakin' lot.


Anyways, I got a note asking when I was gonna do another blog post, so here it is. I could tell you about my last visit to the doctor, but seeing as I didn't get a finger stuck up my butt, I figured I couldn't write anything funny about it.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Boycott Miller products.

Via The Chicago Tribune, and Michelle Malkin's website:
http://michellemalkin.com/archives/005845.htm

Marchers had to duck into fast-food restaurants for water when they first
took to Chicago's streets in support of illegal immigrants five months ago.
At the next two marches, family-owned grocery stores offered free bottled
water from trucks emblazoned with their names.

This time, as demonstrators march from Chinatown to House Speaker Dennis
Hastert's (R-Ill.) Batavia office this weekend, they will have Miller
Brewing Co., as a sponsor. The brewer has paid more than $30,000 for a
planning convention, materials and newspaper ads publicizing the event.

The support of a major corporation for a controversial political cause shows
how fierce the competition has become to woo the growing market of Latino
consumers.

So, in my opinion, by supporting this march, Miller Brewing is thumbing its
corporate nose at us.

So, I'm thumbing my nose right back at them. I am no longer going to consume
any Miller products, and I suggest you do the same.

https://www.millertalk.com/emailmanager/millerbrewing/contact.aspx

Here's Miller's contact address. Join me in letting them know we will NOT
stand for them supporting illegal immigrants.

Here's a list of Miller products.

Miller Lite
Miller Genuine Draft
Miller Genuine Draft Light
Miller High Life
Miller High Life Light
Sharp's non-alcohol brew
Red Dog
Icehouse 5.0
Icehouse 5.5
Icehouse Light
Southpaw Light
Leinenkugel's Original
Leinenkugel's Light
Leinenkugel's Red Lager
Leinenkugel's Honey Weiss
Leinenkugel's Apple Spice (seasonal)
Leinenkugel's Berry Weiss
Leinenkugel's Oktoberfest (seasonal)
Leinenkugel's Creamy Dark
Leinenkugel's Big Butt Doppelbock (seasonal)
Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat
Henry Weinhard's Private Reserve
Henry Weinhard's Blue Boar Pale Ale
Henry Weinhard's Classic Dark
Henry Weinhard's Northwest Trail Blonde Lager
Henry Weinhard's Hefeweizen
Henry Weinhard's Summer Wheat

Hamm's
Hamm's Draft
Hamm's Special Light
Olde English 800 Malt Liquor
Olde English HG800
Olde English HG800 7.5
Magnum Malt Liquor
Mickey's Malt Liquor
Mickey's Ice
Milwaukee's Best
Milwaukee's Best Light
Milwaukee's Best Ice
Foster's Lager
Foster's Special Bitter
Peroni Nastro Azzurro
Pilsner Urquell
Sheaf Stout
Sparks
Sparks Light
Sparks Plus 7%
Sparks Plus 6%
Steel Reserve Triple Export 8.1%
Steel Reserve High Gravity
Steel Reserve High Gravity 6.0
Steel Six

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Ch-ch-ch-changes

So, tonight I went over to Wallyworld to basically wander around and kill some time, and scope out the hotties.

Your humble PartsGuy is a collector of diecast cars, in all scales. I'm also VERY choosy about them. If the proportions are horribly off, (Johnny Lightning, call your office) Then they ain't going in my collection. Period.

For some bizarre reason, some people are putting 28" tire on their cars, and calling them Donks, or something like that. Looks utterly retarded. Anyways, the diecast manufacturers are all falling over themselves to put out lil Donks.

As I've stated, if the proportions are wrong, no go. These are all wrong. What REALLY irks me is that one manufacturer makes some cars i'd like to see with scale wheels. Do they? nope, but they make ridiculous Donks. Assholes.

Hot Wheels does the same thing with a series of cars ridiculously proportioned. Usually, it's a model I wouldn't mind having if the dimensions were correct. Does that happen? Not often.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Weekend thoughts.

Your humble PartsGuy had to make an excursion to the local Wally World for some supplies today. I realized why I usually go at night, about 9 pm.

TOO MANY DAMNED MORONS DURING THE DAY!!!!

My GOD, is it necessary to block an ENTIRE freaking aisle with your fat asses AND your freaking shopping cart full of Doritos and Twinkies and freaking Diet Coke??? Maybe I should bring a cattle prod next time I have to go there during daylight hours!!

**ZZZZAP!!!** "MOVE IT, SHAMU!! THE WORLD DOES NOT, REPEAT, NOT, REVOLVE AROUND YOU AND YOUR FAT, STUPID, ADD SUFFERING ASSHOLE KIDS!! I NEED PAPER PLATES!!! MOVE YOUR ASS!!!!"

Or, maybe I should just not ever go there on a Sunday afternoon again.


So, someone came up to me this week and asked if I'd like to sell my jetski. I've decided yes, because I have nowhere near enough time to ride it, and I want to get a nice truck. We'll see if the guy goes for the price I want.


Your humble PartsGuy has been thinking lately.

Mostly about scary stuff like putting down roots, settling down into a long term type relationship, stuff like that.

It's turning out to be not so scary after all, though it'd be quite an adjustment for someone who's spent most of his adult life alone.

The way I'm looking at it, all I want is one room to myself, where I can scratch, watch the 3 stooges, work on my hobbies, and surf for whatever.

I've discovered things are not always as they seem, and that being decent to people sometimes pays you back in a good way, and in unexpected ways. This I will write more about as it unfolds. If things turn out as I'm hoping, then your PartsGuy's life will become very interesting, indeed.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Camping rules.

Went camping this weekend, was a total blast. Nothing better than sleeping under the stars and eating stuff cooked over an open fire. Yummy.

I have discovered that the PartsMobile is fairly decent for carrying gear, but it's stuffed to the gunwales with stuff. I'm dreading unpacking it tomorrow.

Therefore, I'm going to go ahead and get a nice pickup. I figure if I don't use it as a daily driver, the gas won't kill me. Also, I can pull my jetski along if I go to a site with a lake that allows their use.

I had the most bizarre dream while camping. Imagine Cookie Monster laying on the floor, hollering " TAKE ME NOW, RICHARD!!! "

Yeah. I scare myself sometimes. This would be one of them. I'd LOVE to see an interpretation of THAT dream. I fell off my air mattress laughing.

I think I may need therapy, or something.

Or I may just need a girlfriend.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Things I've been thinking about lately.

Lately, I've been thinking about acquiring stuff.

Why, you may ask? I don't know. I've never been one to be impressed by someone just because of the stuff he/she has. Material goods aren't usually the best barometer of someone's character.

Maybe it's because I've come to realize that it's okay to have a decent car, maybe a nice boat or jetski, maybe a nice RV to tow the boat somewhere and go camping?

Or maybe it's cause I'm pretty much a confirmed bachelor, and should have some toys? Here's a list(very partial) of what I want to acquire yet:


1)A nice(92-current) Crown Vic or Merc Grand Marquis.
2)A mid 80s Mercedes 190E.
3)25-35 ft. motorhome, RV, whatever ya wanna call it.
4)Couple of ATVs and a trailer to haul em around on.
5)Couple of 3 seater jetskis.
6)18-22 foot runabout boat.
7)94-01 Dodge pickup.
8)10 acres of land and a pole building to store all this crap.
9)Some really cool guns.


Given time, I can come up with several more things, I'd bet.

So, the burning internal question, for me anyways, is:

IS it greedy of me to go out and buy this stuff, or should I ignore the feeling and go buy what I wanna because damn it, I EARNED IT? The more I think about it, the more I lean towards the latter. Screw guilt. I work hard, I deserve to be able to play too.

Oddly, this started around the time that NEEG and I split up. Maybe I'm trying to compensate for something?

Or maybe I should quit thinking so freakin' much?

Yeah. Maybe that's the ticket.

More later, if I feel like it.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

I'm Captain Kirk.




Take the Star Trek Quiz


So, yeah. Things are afoot. I'll write more about it as it reveals itself. Sunday should be an interesting day, to say the least.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Happy B-day, USA!

PICT0032
Even the Canadians got into celebrating America's b-day. Clicky pic for larger.
More pics in my Flickr album.
So, anyway, America turned 230 years old. W00t! Oh, and a giant 'neener neener neener' to the terrorist assholes who think they can destroy what countless other dingdongs have tried 'n failed to do.
In other words: Suck it, terrorists.
My tent showed up today, so tomorrow after work I'm gonna play with that, then go work on the 'ski some. I need to put some uprights on it so I can see the trailer when I'm putting it in the water. I'm also going to add a couple more tiedown points on the trailer, can't have too many of those. Finally, I plan on adding a jack to the front so I won't have to keep lifting the freakin' trailer to hook it to the PartsMobile.
Well, I'd write more crap, but I've got to pay the bills, which usually puts me in a cruddy mood, so until next time.
May the Bluebird of Happiness crap on your car.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Ask Mr PartsGuy

So, a few more people have decided to bring their burning questions to me, the PartsGuy, and my crack (or is that cracked?) PartsGuy Research Staff for the answers they need. Sadly, I have much to cover today, plus, only one of the questions was legible, so here it is:

From Sick O'Waiting, from lovely Passaic, NJ;

Dear Mr PartsGuy:

My lovely GF is damned near FLAWLESS, except for one minor flaw. If we go to the grocery store, it takes her FOREVER to get the stuff she wants, and get out, whereas if I go myself, it takes roughly 15 minutes.

My question is: Is there any way I can get her to speed up the process??


Dear Mr O'Waiting:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
(deep breath)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Err, umm, sorry.

Ahem.

Your GF's, shall we say, glacial progress in the grocery store, actually, any store at all, is genetically imprinted. You'd have better luck shaving a yak during the rut. Shaving the yak would probably be a lot less painful too.

The bottom line here is: Do you wish to see her naked ever again? Then do what every man has had to do: Suck it up, and try to go to your happy place. Think CAMPING.



Which brings us to our next subject to cover.

Your humble PartsGuy has become slightly enamored of camping. I rather enjoy the silence, and not having anything important to do other than set up the campsite. To that end, I splurged and got a tent off Amazon.com for 44 bucks. Sweet.

Speaking of Amazon, I recently discovered that my Wish List there is still active. Sweet. I've now added some junk to it, mostly videogames because I've yet to grow up. As I've said before, I've tried maturity, and frankly, I don't recommend it. I'm not going to publish it, though I may in the future.


Today I went with the NEEG to Gander Mountain because she wanted to buy a compass. Now, getting me to go to Gander is about as difficult as convincing me to eat a Porterhouse steak.

In other words, it's easy as pie. I can happily wander around Gander for hours. Today was no different. I found 3 guns I'd like to have, some cool camping stuff, and a nice Arctic Cat ATV.

I'm here to tell you, if I had my jetski paid off, I'd be getting an ATV. There's an awesome trail about 10 minutes from Stately PartsGuy Manor. Goes for miles and miles, plus there's other places not too far from here either.

As I was drooling over scoping out the ATVs, a familar face walked by. I called out her name, and damned if it wasn't her! 'Twas an old friend's ex-wife, who I hadn't seen in about 10 years or so.

Happily, she's doing well, and it turns out the old friend has cleaned up his act a wee bit, which is a good thing indeed.


The jetski was taken out last week for its maiden voyage. All went well, except for the fact that I'm a wee bit heavy for the machine, which I hope to remedy this year.

She's a wee bit tippy, and if you're not giving her the respect she deserves, into the drink you go. Don't ask me how I know this.

I need to get back into shape so getting back on isn't such a daunting task.

She's a bit slow to get on plane, but when she does, WOW! Off you go like a scalded cat! I plan on doing a GPS run to see how fast the beast actually goes.

I'm thinking such a wondrous beast deserves a name that suits her. I'm open to suggestions.


And last, but not least, I'm in the middle of developing something called "Embracing Your Inner Og". It'll be a self help thing for men, only done PartsGuy style. Look for it in the near future.


As always, may the Bluebird Of Happiness crap on your car.






















Thursday, June 22, 2006

Stuff.

So, the other weekend, your humble PartsGuy was invited to go camping. Now, my usual idea of roughing it is a hotel with no pool, so actually sleeping where there's no electricity is something I usually don't partake in.

What a damned fool I've been.

It's been a long time since I've been that relaxed, unless I was at my buddy's house about 1/2 hour out of town. Wow.

We camped out in the travel trailer my buddy's mother had given him. Wasn't as bad as I thought, though I think those trailers are designed for people who're a bit less portly than I.

Anyways.

It rained a great deal of the time we were there, but I'd brought plenty of reading material, so no big deal. Amazing how getting away from the noise and hustle brought such peace.

Now I'm thinking about getting a motorhome. Sigh.

I'm gonna start out small, and get a tent and air mattress, see if I really am up for the motorhome thing. If so, after the 'ski gets paid off, I'll look around a lil bit.

Speaking of the 'ski, went over yesterday, put the numbers on, dumped in some gas and fired it up. Took a couple tires, but she fired up. Now I just gotta put on a flushing kit so I can run it on the hose and make sure everything's tip-top before I go for a ride.


So, in summary, I need to go get a second job to buy all the toys I wanna get!! Urgh.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Interesting place to go babewatching.

So, anyways.

NEEG decided she needed to go to the local Organic grocery place and get some bizarre noodle type concoction for lunches at work. Being one who believes that new experiences are a good thing, I went along.

She picks up this noodle thing, and says " look at this. " It's Chicken Sesame, or something of that nature, and it's VEGETARIAN. Ain't that something? I'm gonna take a wild stab at it, and place its taste somewhere between vile and disgusting.

So, while she's putzing around trying to figure out what to have for dinner, I happened to notice something. There were a LOT of very attractive ladies. Also, as it's a bit warm out, said ladies weren't wearing very much.

Your humble correspondent VERY much likes summertime.

So, here stands your humble PartsGuy, in a store FULL of people whose beliefs are about the exact opposite of mine. I was half tempted to yell "I VOTED FOR BUSH BOTH TIMES!!!!" just to see what would happen.

While I was there, I discovered they actually carried MEAT. As a cynical bastard who expects anyplace called the Whole Foods Co-op to have 800 different kinds of granola, veggie burgers up the ol' wazoo,and 15 thousand stinky hippies, this was nothing short of a religious experience.

So, I cleaned up the 'ol Foreman grill, tossed one on.

Wow. I was astonished by the taste. Awesome. I'd picked up some grassfed beef, sold by www.thousandhillscattleco. No chemicals, preservatives, or anything. Try it. Good stuff.


I was gonna write some funny stuff about playing pranks on telemarketers, but I think I'll save that for another time.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Memorial day 2006

The Memorial Day weekend is just about over, and I have a few thoughts about it.

Hopefully this finds everyone safe and sound after pigging out on much barbecued food 'n tasty drinks.

Hopefully we've all stopped to reflect on the sacrifices made by ordinary Americans to keep the US a free country. I know I have.

Hopefully the Iraqi insurgents will soon taste defeat, and we can all rejoice in another country being free from the heavy thumb of tyranny.

Hopefully, this will cause more countries to become free.

Hopefully, my nieces and nephews will never have to serve our country during an armed conflict.

Hopefully, nobody else's nieces and nephew will either.

Hopefully, I won't have to go to another friend's funeral.

Hopefully, they won't be attending mine.


I'll probably write more stuff later, but for now, it's frickin' gorgeous outside. I'm gonna head out and enjoy it.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Thoughts on various issues in the PartsGuy's life.

In the comments to an earlier post, one of my readers suggested a selloff of my diecast collection, then I'd have money for the down payment on a house, and the jetski I wanted.

First off, the jetski.

That's no longer an issue, as your humble PartsGuy this week found and purchased a Tigershark Barracuda. I figured I'd need a cosigner, but nope, they had no problems writing a check for it. W00t!!

Now it just needs to warm up so I can hit the water and have some fun. Can't wait.

As to the house issue, I HAVE been giving this a TON of consideration as of late. I'm doing fairly well in my job, I'm putting away bucks every month, etc. One of, if not the main sticking points is: Do I REALLY want to spend the rest of my life here?

The town I live in DOES have its problems, but that's ANY town, city, etc. The winters suck, but I usually have enough other things that can be done inside, so I'm not cooped up going berserk. Well, mostly, anyway. Most of my family is here, as in my nieces and 2 of my 3 nephews, and the thought of being far away from them is not one I like.

Another argument for it is that I'm paying $X for rent now, why not apply that amount to something that I'D own, and would be building equity in?

I'm about 1/2way convinced as it sits. I have a friend who lives in a small town 20 or so miles south of here, and EVERY time I go there, I just sit, inhale the fresh, pine scented air, and wonder why in God's green earth do I live in the city?

Quite an interesting problem, yes? I'm not too sure of the solution at this point. If I were to decide to up and leave, I have to find a way to weasel out of my lease, and then boogie, most likely losing my security deposit. OR, if the place I was living in was mine, then I could rent it out for enough to make the mortgage payments, OR sell outright and take whatever equity I'd earned and split. I'm also losing out on the tax advantages of owning a home as well as not being able to modify the dwelling to my liking. Plus, I'd have a garage of my very own to store my toys in!

Hmm. I shall have to consult with my advisors before I make a decision.

As ever, time will tell.

I will keep you posted.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Another reason Bobby Bonds sucks ass.

From SI.com:

"PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- Carlos Oliveras has a home run ball specially marked to assure authenticity. It just doesn't have Barry Bonds' autograph as the slugger refused to sign the ball."

Ok, already I'm thinking, "jeesh, what a jackass."

"He said he is a Bonds fan and would probably keep the ball. He hoped it would have Bonds' signature. Bonds said no when he was asked at his news conference if he would sign the ball if a fan wanted an autograph. Moments later, when an official asked if there were any more questions, Oliveras piped up: "Will you sign my ball?"


Bonds smirked and said nothing.(my emphasis)

Ok, here's my take. Bonds is nothing more than a 'roid chugging goon, whose run at the Babe's record, to me, is TOTALLY meaningless, and shouldn't even be kept track of.

To me, refusing to sign this guy's ball is just another chapter in the Bobby Bonds Is A Complete Douchebag story.

Oliveras joins the service, and most likely takes risks on his job that would make Bonds sweat in his Gucci loafers, and for a LOT less pay a year than the Giants give Bonds a year in per diem money. Signing the ball would have taken, what, a MINUTE out of Bonds' day?? SCREW him, Mark McGuire, and all the rest of those chemically enhanced assholes. They can all get cancer and die, and I wouldn't be able to give 1/1,000,000,000,000th of a damn about any of them.

So, as far as I'm concerned , Bobby Bonds is a douchebag.

End of Rant.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Things on the PartsGuy's mind.

Country Music: Can't stand 99.999999% of it, which is just garbage(coincedentally, just like Top 40 music these days) All you hear on the radio these days is manufactured garbage, with lyrics about the most asinine things. It's one of the reasons I listen to a lot of instrumental stuff.

Little known fact: Most country artists don't write their own material. Look at the band members' names, then look at the songwriter(s) names. More often than not, they ain't the same person. Often, the band doesn't even PLAY on their own albums. THAT is grade A bull.

If you're old enough to remember the days when MTV (another joke in itself) actually played music videos, then you possibly remember C+C music factory. Seems some people got in a wee bit of an uproar because the woman in the video, and the one who did the singing were 2 different people. The one doing the singing was a rather large lady, while the one in the video wasn't. Imagine that. Their videos were just as BS as their "music".

Needless to say, I was quite happy when they went by the wayside. Music 'Factory' indeed. Like a good song can be bolted together like a damn car!!!! I laughed when they split up. One hit wonders.


Any one of my readers feel like cuttin' the PartsGuy a check for about, oh, $3k?? If you do, I'll be more than happy to send you a picture of me riding the Seadoo your generous contribution would buy.

Golly gee willikers, what a gorgeous 'ski. The worst part is, it's EXACTLY the one I wanted, in the EXACT color scheme. AHHHHHH!!!!

S'okay. The guy selling it is a buddy of mine who sells 'em on the side, and he's got his eyes open for a cheap ski for your favorite PartsGuy. Of course, if'n you WANTED to send a check, it wouldn't get turned down...


Well, enoug of that for one night.

I discovered a cool magazine I HAVE to tell you guys about. It's called Dirt Sports, and it covers all sorts of racing vehicles that DON'T have NASCAR on the sides (there's a rant for another day). Your humble PartsGuy is a sucker for offroad racing, and if there's one on during one of my VERY rare TV watching episodes, I'm watchin it.

www.dirtsportsmag.com

Check it out.

My r/c vehicle collection grew with the addition of a Traxxas Rustler stadium truck. I'll have pics of it sooner or later. I once bought a road car, while it's fun to wail around on the street, there's just something to be said for going into the dirt and throwing rooster tails all over the place. Dirt is where it's at, people. W00t!!! I always seem to feel so much better after a nice session of roostin' and slidin'. I need to do it more often, as the weather will allow.


That's enough for one night, methinks. I'm off to bed.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

You know, I'm bloody sick of having to come up with titles!! EVERY damned time I go to post, I have to come up with some clever title!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Ok. I got that out of my system. Kewl.

Today was a decent day. I hit my sales goal for the month, so tomorrow I will stand at work and bask in the glory and adulation of, well, absolutely nobody. Sigh.

I have decided that I am going to develop a useful little device to help people become better drivers.

What, you may ask, would trigger the PartsGuy's desire to help his fellow man achieve automotive nirvana? Has the PartsGuy's benevolent side risen to the surface once again, to help lead the world into a better, brighter day? IS IT TRUE???

Frankly, no.

I'm just tired of driving places at night, and having the interior of my car lit up like the Christmas lights on the Griswold's house in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Call me selfish.

Anyway, my little invention will be a tiny sign that lights up when you flip the switch. I'll probably have a selection of messages for you to choose from, handy, gentle phrases such as:

  • TURN YOUR HIGHBEAMS OFF, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!
  • HEY DUMBASS!! TURN YOUR HIGHBEAMS OFF!!!
  • ARE YOU A RETARD?? YOUR HIGHBEAMS ARE ON!!
  • YOU!! MORON!! TURN THE F%$KING HIGHBEAMS OFF!!

Apparently, the little blue light on your gauge cluster is too confusing for some people.

What brought this on, you may ask?

Well, your humble PartsGuy was returning from a trip to the hobby shop, snarfing up some r/c car goodies for the new toy PartsDad provided him with(thanks!!!) followed by a delightful dinner and a trip to B&N.

Keep in mind we returned home well after dark.

While sitting at a stoplight, some Audi Driving Yuppie Asshole(ADYA for short) pulled up on the PartsMobile with his highbeams blazing. Several people flashing their brights had no effect on this jackass. I flicked my mirror to no avail. This is one of the times that you fantasize about throwing your vehicle in reverse and turning the lights off for him.

Sadly, it seems to be a growing trend. I think people just don't care about being good drivers anymore. I blame Oprah. And Rosie O'Donnell.(gag, hack, spit)

Anyhow.

I got a new battery charger and battery for my new R/C truck, so now I have to find the perfect body for it. I'm thinkin a nice Chevy pickup one would be kewl. I'll have to try 'n get some pics of it shreddin' the dirt like a crazed weasel.

More later.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Some people make me nuts.

What is the deal with people doing 45 mph on the freeway? WHY must they do this in the left lane?? Am I the only one who's noticed that they do 45 EVERYWHERE????


These people should be smeared with bananas, and tossed into a cage with a horny gorilla.

That would amuse me greatly.

Anyhoo, I see that the DEA agent who shot himself in the foot is suing the government for letting the tape get onto the 'net.

I say screw him. Why should he be rewarded for being STUPID? As far as I'm concerned, if you DON'T follow the rules of firearm safety, LIKE TREATING EVERY FIREARM AS IF IT'S LOADED, then you deserve whatever happens to you. Personally, if I ran the DEA, this frickin genius would have been fired within 12 hours.

I'm willing to bet this guy is one of the cops in this country who thinks that non-cops shouldn't be allowed to carry firearms.

Anyways, it seems Agent Einstein feels a wee bit humiliated. Awwwwwwwww. As I said before, screw him. Any jury with an ounce of common sense should laugh him out of the courtroom.

Frankly, I resent this dipshit wasting taxpayers' money. If it goes to court and he DOES win, then the DEA should sue for reimbursement of any money they paid for his medical care.

I'm tired of people trying to make a buck off their own stupidity, especially when the money they're suing for is going to come out of taxpayer pockets.

Monday, April 10, 2006

In which the PartsGuy plays automotive journalist.

First, Chrysler brought us the Challenger concept car, to great fanfare and much drooling by those of us who eat, breathe, and live cars. Were DCX to build this bad-lookin' mammajamma, which the rumor mill says stands a GOOD chance of happening, they'd sell a kabillion of the things, ESPECIALLY if they managed to get it out the door for under $25k. Think about it; a RWD coupe with a 6 speed manual tranny, and the Hemi engine to boot? 17 year old boys are busy thinkin' about how many 17 year old girls they'd be getting into the backseat!!

But of course, we're enlightened now, so I suppose I should say 17 year old girls are busy thinkin' about how many 17 year old boys they can get in the backseat!

Yeah, whatever.


I mean, LOOK at this thing:




Can we say BOO-YAH? Imagine rolling up to pick up yer prom date in one of these in black. Your date's father would grab the 12 gauge, because you're obviously bad, BAD news.

On the bright side, chicks(and their moms) will dig you. A LOT. Which, as we all know, is a 17 year old male's reason for existence. Well, that, and eating pizza as much as possible.

So, our good friends at General Motors, not to be left out of the festivities, bring back one of THEIR storied nameplates from the dead for their concept car.

That's right..the Camaro. What American male worth his testosterone didn't want one? I sure did. And here's what the General hath wrought:




OK, what your humble correspondent would like to know is:

WHO in the GM organization is responsible for this? This is, without a doubt, the WORST example of GM nameplate recycling since the Nova of the early 80's!!!!

That thing, you may recall, was basically a Toyota Corolla. Gag. I STILL haven't forgiven GM for that. I probably never will.

The person, or persons, responsible for this design should be taken out and severely BEATEN. REPEATEDLY.

This thing is the UGLIEST blob of CRAP I've seen in a LONG time, and I was around when AMC was building cars, for cripe's sakes!! AMC cars were a special kind of ugly, too!!

But, the Camaro concept has them ALL beat by about 6500 country miles. It's THAT ugly!!

My promise to you: If GM goes ahead and builds this vile heap of garbage, and it closely resembles this rolling elephant's dungheap, I will PERSONALLY vomit copiously on every one I can. Further, I also promise to buy a share of General Motors stock, and blow my nose on the stock certificate, and then I will send a picture of it to Bob Lutz, who one hopes will provide this concept with the mercy killing it's absolutely SCREAMING to receive!! I can't find the right way to describe how hideous this thing is. GAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!!!

On the bright side, GM'll probably price the thing so high that most people won't be able to afford one.

So, to recap: Dodge Challenger GOOD. Camaro= TERRIBLE. Your humble PartsGuy gives it 2 thumbs down with an order of GAAAAK!!

Friday, April 07, 2006

This slightly irks me.

So, I've been sittin here, writing a post in my mind about making illegal aliens citizens. I'm not going to be able to add anything that already hasn't been said, so I'll just throw in my 2 cents. This bill should NOT become law. They're here ILLEGALLY, and they should NOT be rewarded for breaking the law. I don't know WHAT GW was thinking. It's NUTS.

And apparently, we shouldn't march in protest against this while carrying the American flag, as it might be OFFENSIVE to Mexican nationals, while they can wave the Mexican flag INSIDE OUR BORDERS.

Too bad the USAF can't 'accidentally' drop a tank of napalm on these jackasses. Wouldn't bother me very much.


As a matter of fact, here's a 'lil proposal for you.

Go find a place that sells American flag decals. Get one. Stick it on yer car. There's one on the PartsMobile. Tell yer friends, hell, tell yer enemies too. Pass it along.

Screw anyone who don't like it. Last time I checked, it was still a free country.

If GW REALLY wants to win some fans, he'd tell us the info gathered by getting these people to file the paperwork was so the US could round these people up and ship their butts back across the border.

Sounds cruel? Maybe. But think about it: When some illegal gets hit by a car trying to cross a street somewhere, and gets hauled to an American hospital, guess who pays the bill? Certainly not him. It's sad when someone who's here ILLEGALLY has better health care access than a legal citizen.

Scratch sad, it's bloody well pathetic.

What I find REALLY disgusting is the fact that the President referred to the Minutemen as 'vigilantes' for volunteering their time and risking their safety doing a job that THE GOVERNMENT is supposed to be doing. Maybe we need MORE Minutemen on the border.

But hey, what do I know?

Originally, I was gonna post about a bunch of things that irritate me, but I'm lazy, and don't feel like typing all of it. So there.

So, I'll just finish by noting that more blog changes are coming as I find them and test for usefulness. It's all good, so stay tuned.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Weekend fun.

Saturday, I went Geocaching with the Non-Evil Ex-Girlfriend(NEEG) and her buddy who wanted to come along. We managed 4 finds in 4 hours, which ain't too shabby.

NEEG decided to get herself a new car, which we took on our lil adventure. NEEG's new car has a manual transmission, which she's getting the hang of. She only stalled it twice, both instances bringing much hilarity. Other opportunities for laughs at her expense were taken as they came.

NEEG's buddy brought along his roomie's dog, who helped in our cache hunting efforts by stopping approximately every 850 feet and either going to the bathroom, or sniffing trees.

I managed to get some pictures of various things. I posted a couple on the Flickr site for you to see.

Later that night, we headed to the Evil Empire to acquire some supplies. After bringing in many things, I decided to assist UN by bringing in a case of pop for him. This caused Ouchies in a tender area. I decided to wait until the morning to see if things improved painwise, which they did. Still, I decided that going to the ER to check things out would be a very good thing.


So, off I went.

Just ONCE, if I have to be checked for a hernia, I would like the doctor to be female, and semi-attractive. Just once.

Such was not the case. Not a hernia, though. Just a lil strain is all. W00t! I went to pick up a scrip for some medicine, and was rewarded for my earlier ickiness by the appearance of several attractive pharmacy ladies. All is now well.

You know, I promised some funny, and this post didn't bring any. I humbly apologize.

I'm going to blame the time change.

New stuff.

So, for your viewing enjoyment, or complete repulsion, whichever, I've started placing some pictures on Flickr.com.

That's why the neat new button over that way. It's green. You'll find it. ==>

Ain't that peachy??

So, now, not only do you get written Creamy Goodness, you get VISUAL Creamy Goodness too!!

Will the miracles of the 'Net never cease?? W00t!

Now, on to some other stuff:

On the side is a neato lil signup for The PartsGuy Mailing List. Be the first on your block to know when I publish new, fresh crap!! Sign up today!! ALL the cool kids are doin' it!!!

Also, each and every post has a neato lil button that allows you to leave a comment . Use 'em to let me know how I can improve your PartsGuy experience, or even to tell me I suck, and should probably be locked in a room with rabid weasels. It's all good. If you're REALLY lucky, I might even respond!! HOW can you pass up such a deal??? Of course, if you so wish, you could send me linkies to really good noodie pics, but that's not an absolute requirement.

Later, I shall write a little bit about my weekend adventures. I promise it'll bring the funny, or at least make you glad you're not me.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Interesting linky

I was sent this link in an email. Interesting stuff.

http://www.alainsnewsletter.com/article.php?id=272

Go read it.

More later. I don't feel like writing anything tonight.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Sunday.

So, it's Sunday here at Stately PartsGuy Manor.

I'm feeling sorta domestic today, so I'm taking a break from cleaning to throw up this lil post.

As of 3/17, I'm Uncle PartsGuy yet again, another PartsNephew!! W00t!!

Went over and got some pics for PartsDad 'n emailed 'em off, all's well there. I'd forgotten to remind them of the #1 PartsGuy Rule for Babysitting, which is this:

I do NOT babysit until they're toilet trained. Uncle PartsGuy does NOT, repeat, NOT change diapers of any child he wasn't involved in the production of. Period. It's a good rule, works for me.


You'll notice under the Linkies section, I've put up a couple more. One's for Dad Gone Mad, which I found while surfing aimlessly. This guy is SERIOUSLY funny. I read through the archives and laughed like hell more than once. That's good for a link in my book.

The second link is for Richard Cheese and his band, Lounge Against The Machine. This band does lounge style covers of various tunes by Disturbed, Sir Mix-A-Lot, and others. You may think it's stupid, but to play the tunes they do lounge style takes some SERIOUS musicianship. Download the Jimmy Kimmel Show appearance, and you'll see what I mean. Also good for a link in my book.


And now, housework calls. At least after I'm done here, I can go tinker with the PartsMobile for a little bit. Maybe I'll even get ambitious and go wash it too.

More later after dinner, unless I fall asleep in my chair.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

So, yeah. life ain't too bad.

I started a different position at my shop this week. It's kewl. I deal with wholesale customers from 8-5 M-F. It's WEIRD to leave work without closing the shop down. WEIRD. Hell, it's odd leaving work while it's still daylight out!!!

I'm adjusting nicely, though. ;)

So, I went out and bought Black the day it came out. GREAT game. The only complaint I have is about the LOOOOOOOONG opening credits that you can't bypass. I've since taken to starting the game, then running to the bathroom or something while it loads. I'm not very good at video games, matter of fact, I usually end up getting my clock cleaned by some 8 year old kid. Still fun, though. I ended up taking my PS2 to a buddy's place one night, and we took turns going through sections of the game. Fun.


I'll post some more crap later this week, probably.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

'Black' is here!!

So, after work Tuesday, UN and I headed out to Applebee's for some dinner type consumables, then over to the Evil Empire, doing our part to keep the local economy going.

Our server had a VERY cute lil tushie. The rest of her wasn't bad either.

I know. I'm a dirty old man. Sue me.

Anyways.

So after that, off to the Evil Empire. This was one of the FEW times I regretted selling my Jeep, as there was a fun looking lil hill covered with snow that would have provided us with a shortcut.

I may have to acquire a lil Blazer or something for just that purpose. We'll see.

Anyways, I picked up my copy of Black, and after some wandering around, we headed back to Stately PartsGuy Manor, and I put the game on my desk for tonight when I'd have time to sit and play with it a bit.

Wow. This game is a HOME RUN. Tons of shooting stuff up, killing bad guys, and explosions galore!! It's especially awesome if you run your PS2's sound through a home stereo.

I finished up the session by getting killed, and immediately emailed some buds telling them to get this game. IT'S THAT GOOD.

If you like First Person Shooters, then you MUST get this.


I don't have anything else to say, so I shall skedaddle and get some sleep.

May the bluebird of happiness crap on your car.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

I'm cranky.

I would like someone to explain to me why you would allow your child to scream at the top of its lungs in public, when you sure wouldn't allow that type of behavior at home.

Tonight, I went to the local Caucasian Refuse Sanctuary(Walmart), and we could hear this kid hollering for whatever reason from halfway across the store. The kid's got a future as a singer, for sure. Mom is standing there attempting to convince the kid to put a jacket on, and the kid's having none of it.

Is it just me, or is attempting to negotiate ANYTHING with a 2-3 year old a complete waste of time? I'm standing and rooting for mom to haul off and belt the kid. I'm also sure I wasn't the only one. Grandma is busy trying to put away the powered shopping cart, and is absolutely useless.

So, my buddy and I follow this happy lil family out the door. We' re watching this sorta close, as we'd figured as much as the kid was screamin, her head was gonna start spinning around any second, and pea soup all over the place. No such luck.

I generally don't condone beating the crap out of kids, but in that case, I sure would have understood mom layin' the smack down.

I would have cheered.



In happy news: Black for PS2 will be released Tuesday. I can't WAIT!!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

So, ummm, yeah.

So, I've been doin' the Ebay thing again, adding to my diecast collection.

I lost out on what would have been an awesome addition to my collection because I was at work when it ended. DAMN having to put in hours workin' for the man!!

Ah well. Another chance will come. I'm patient. At this rate, my niece and nephews will inherit an awesome collection when I croak.

Side note: I saw a Hot Wheels Jeep CJ8 in mint condition go for like, $75. Im kicking myself for losing the one I had.

On the video game front:

I managed to get a copy of Splashdown: Rides Gone Wild from overstock.com. W00t!!

12 days till the release of Black for PS2. From what I've read, and seen on the internet, this may be one of the top 10 games EVER for PS2, in this blogger's humble opinion. I can't WAIT.


My apologies for a post full of fluff. It's been a LONG freakin month so far at work. Hopefully, all the bullshit having to do with the conversion to another company will end soon. Cross your fingers for my sanity remaining intact.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Some movie stars should just STFU.

For the most part, I consider most TV and movie stars to be complete idiots who'd be street sweepers if they weren't famous. Case in point from contactmusic.com:

GWYNETH PALTROW prefers living in London to Los Angeles, because British people are "more intelligent and civilised".

OK, sure, Gwyneth. Tell that to Scotland. Oh, and call us during the next soccer riot, willya? Also, you may wish to read this article before you open your stupid mouth again.

More intelligent? You and your hubby named your kid 'Apple'. Oh, and your husband's band sucks. Do us a favor and freakin' disappear from the public eye, will you? PLEASE????

Apparently Gwyneth and her braindead hubby are going to have another lil' curtain climber. I wonder what absolutely moronic name they'll saddle this poor kid with.

An old article I once read quoted her as commenting how she couldn't imagine working since she had the first kid. I'm thinking we shoulda got that in writing.

Make sure you pass this story on to your friends. More people should know this woman thinks we Americans are stupid barbarians.

Then, we can not go to movies she stars in, because we wouldn't wish to offend her with our stupid, barbaric presence. We probably shouldn't buy any more of her hubby's band's material(Coldplay, in case you didn't know) because we might offend him too.


Pretty civilized, don't you think??

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

I do like my lil' bloggin toys.

Like this one:






And this one:

Your Birthdate: December 26

You lucked out the the skills to succeed in almost any arena.
Put you in almost any business or classroom, and you'll rise to the top.
You're driven and intense, but you also know when to kick back and cooperate.
Your ability to adapt to almost any situation is part of what's going to make you a success.

Your strength: Your attention to detail

Your weakness: You can be a little too proud of your successes

Your power color: Turquoise

Your power symbol: Arrow pointing up

Your power month: August



One thing I DON'T like having to do is edit someone's shitty HTML coding to make the thing show up right. Such is life in the big city.

The PartsGuy as Maximum Leader test went ok. Nobody died. I'm more than happy to hand over the reins, but I'll miss going to the bank and seeing the teller with long brown hair and nice brown eyes. Sigh.

Speaking of brown hair and gorgeous eyes, Andrea, if'n you read this, get hold of me and lemme know how you're doin, ok??


I'm sorta tired, as I was getting up at 5:30 so's I could head into work a bit early and get the paperwork crap ironed out before the store opened. I don't have to be in till 12:30 tomorrow, so I think I'll be sleeping late.

You watch, 6 am, I'll be wide awake.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

New thinger on the side.

I decided to put the lil button on the side saying 'I am Pro-Victory'. Click it 'n go see what other people have to say.

While your humble PartsGuy is rather partial to peace, quiet, cute furry puppies, and stuff like that, I also realize, and I wish more people would understand, is sometimes, you gotta go kick some ass. I've been saying since oh, I don't know, FOREVER that terrorists need to be exterminated like the cockroaches they are.

I'm not going to get into the political side of it, because one, plenty of other people, much smarter than I am already have; and two, it makes your PartsGuy cranky.

Ok, crankiER.


So, anyway, brief summary time.

Cute furry puppies= GOOD.
Terrorists, and the assholes who support them, BAD!


Oh, and Rosie O'Donnell is still a fat ugly pig who should be run over by a bus.

Work. Ugh.

So, the PartsGuy as Maximum Leader thing is rapidly coming to a close. I'm ok with that. It's not too horrible, I for SURE don't mind leaving at 5 instead of 7:30.

I'm not crazy about getting up at 5:30, though.

I plan on sleeping in my first day off.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Wow! 2 days in a row!

The first day of your humble PartsGuy being in charge went well. This scares me. I only have to make it to next Thursday when the boss gets back.

I got left some projects to do, 3 stocklifts and a relabel project. 2 of the 3 stocklifts are done. My plan is to get as much of it done as I can tomorrow, so they're out of the way. I'm planning on sticking a couple of the guys on the relabel while I handle the last stocklift. We'll see how that goes. I'm hoping to have the last lift done tomorrow, in between shuffling paperwork and other crap.

I got my stock purchase statement today. As of 12/30/05, I own almost 13 shares of the company. PartsGuy= future mogul? Who knows. I maxed out my contribution to the plan, as I figure if it goes right off the top, I won't miss it. It'd be nice to be able to buy about 15 shares or so per quarter. Woohoo.


Your humble PartsGuy also managed to get his taxes finished. The refund will be more than enough to get the digital SLR camera I've been lusting after since PartsDad let me try his:





Ain't it pretty?? It's the Nikon D50. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my Minolta Z2, I just want something that'll let me get better pics for actually printing off, instead of seeing them all on my computer.

I REALLY would like to print off a few pics to keep, just in case my computer gets nailed with another virus that causes me to lose all my pics. I could care less about the pics of naked chicks, but to lose the pics of a dear friend who passed away REALLY corks my butt.

So, tomorrow is day 2 of the PartsGuy In Command Challenge. Should make for some interesting reading later this week. One of the days is going to be absolutely hellish. It's ok though, as I relish the idea. Bring it on.

In video game news:

Criterion Games says 'Black' will be released Feb 21st. I can't wait.

Other stuff:

If you have a broadband connection, then go here. Download the video of Keith Olberman taking the piss out of Bill O'Reilly. Incredibly funny!!! I had tears from laughing so hard.

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/01/31.html#a6951


I'd LOVE to know what that braying jackass dipdunk thought about the potshots Olbermann took. About time someone gave back what that bullying asshole dishes out.

I'm willing to bet O'Reilly whines like a girl.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Various things.


The boss heads out for Houston tomorrow for a manager's conference. That leaves me running the show for the better part of a week. Then we've got a store remodel coming up too. I sense that Feb is going to be Hell Month. 1st week of March might be vacation time.


I've decided I'd like to have my own private armory a couple of firearms laying around Stately PartsGuy Manor. I'm a collector, what can I say?

A quick tour of impactguns.com pulled up some fine choices.

In the rifle category:








Remington 710 in 30.06. I like it, so that's reason enough to get one.


In the shotgun category:











Maverick Arms 88 in 12 gauge.18" barrel. Good stuff. Either this, or a Remington 870 in black.



In the handgun category, for the day when WI DOES manage to get a concealed carry law enacted, I'll prob carry one of these.









Glock 17, in 9mm. I like the design. Good enough reason to get one, yes?

There's a whole mess of other stuff I'd like to have. I'll post up a few now and then when I run out of decent ideas for a post find ones I like.

Well, that's about all for tonight. I've gotta be up at about 6:15 in the morning(ugh!) to go open the shop and haul in the night freight. Wish me luck, for the next week should prove VERY interesting indeed.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I'm still here.

So, anyways.

The WI House failed to override Gov. Doyle's veto.

By two votes.

Damned fools, they are. I'm waiting to see how the rep for my district voted. If he voted like I think he did, he's in for a nastygram. We'll see.

On the bright side, I'm thinkin I'll be buying a gun of some sort with my WI tax refund this year. Screw you, Commissar Governor Doyle.


I'm thinking a nice Glock should fill the bill.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

I'm a Corvette, baby!

I'm a Chevrolet Corvette!

You're a classic - powerful, athletic, and competitive. You're all about winning the race and getting the job done. While you have a practical everyday side, you get wild when anyone pushes your pedal. You hate to lose, but you hardly ever do.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.


Monday, January 09, 2006

And now, for something different.

From the website of a local TV station:

"More details continue to come out surrounding the death of a Superior woman this weekend, that police are calling a possible homicide.

Police say the suspect in custody lived at the home where he was arrested, which was just across the street from where the victim was found on Saturday.
Officers say the woman had what appeared to be stab wounds when they found her. "

This happened a block away from Stately PartsGuy Manor. Imagine my surprise, walking out to the PartsMobile to grab something, turning around, and seeing yellow tape and cop cars all over the place.

Usually, the area around Stately PartsGuy Manor is fairly quiet, which I like.

Now, there's all sorts of looky-loos rolling by. Sad.
(sarcasm mode= ON)
You know, I'm sure glad that Governor Doyle vetoed the Personal Protection Act. If he hadn't, that poor lady might have been legally carrying a concealed weapon, and would have been able to defend herself against the asshole who killed her. Who knows, she might have killed the bastard outright, and saved the State a ton of money trying the bastard. Can't have that.
(sarcasm mode= OFF)

Thanks, Governor, for making the streets of Wisconsin just a little more safe for rapists, murderers, and other scumbags, while making law-abiding citizens live in fear. As far as I'm concerned, the blood of many innocent people is on your hands. I wonder how you sleep at night knowing YOU are the one who denied the people of WI the tools needed to keep themselves safe. I'll be sure to remember that come your re-election campaign, and I'll be sure to remind people too.

It is my deepest desire that your actions will come back to haunt you come Election Day. I can't wait to see your concession speech. I promise not to laugh myself sick.

BTW, I plan to spend some of my WI tax refund next year to buy myself a nice gun or two. I'll probably send you a picture.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

OK, so I forgot something.

I forgot to mention the one thing I did get for Xmas that wasn't clothes.

The Non-Evil Ex-Girlfriend(NEEG for short), brought me a cool lil diecast car back from Greece.


Kewl.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

WTF is with people lately?

Right off the bat, I'll admit I'm in a cranky mood. Having someone you THOUGHT was a friend not even take the 3 seconds to acknowledge your presence kinda pisses a guy off.

Anyway, you'd think I'd know better than to go to the grocery store at 4 pm.

I'm sitting in the PartsMobile, waiting for a parking space to open. As I'm sitting there, This lady finishes unloading her stuff from the cart to the car, shuts the door, then shoves the cart towards the cart corral.

You must understand, the corral was 25 feet away, and MUCH too far to walk.

She shoves the cart towards the corral, and the damn thing doesn't get anywhere NEAR to the corral, but instead smacks into the bumper of an older Buick.

Now, you and I both know had the situation been reversed, and someone shoved a shopping cart into HER car, all hell woulda broken loose. So, I rolled up to her and asked her if she was aware the cart she'd just carelessly shoved off had hit someone else's car.

Her response: " It wasn't me, I don't know what you're talking about!"
My response: " I just watched you do it!"
Her response: " It must have been someone else. It wasn't me!"

Unfreakinreal. So, I get the PartsMobile parked, and head in to grab some stuff to whomp up burritos. Burritos= GOOD.

So, I'm walking through in a pretty good mood now, 'cause they had my favorite flavor of Jelly Belly in stock(W00t!), and I turn a corner and get held up by 3 people, who apparently are confused by all the great bargains to be had, and are standing around their shopping cart in the middle of the aisle. I got around the human roadblock, headed over to grab some tasty ground beef, cause you CAN'T have burritos without beef in 'em. It's just plain wrong.

Anyways, some lady decides she needs to block up the whole section, while the butcher and I are trying to get in, do our thing, and get on the road. Never once does this broad look around to see if she's blocking people.

One of the saddest things about society is, you're not allowed to kick these people. I'm thinkin' the PartsGuy's size 10 in their asses would convince them that getting the hell out of people's way is a good thing. Some people in my area are sadly lacking in manners and common sense. I don't want a gigantic hassle, I just want to get my stuff 'n go home, ya know?

On the good side, the PartsMobile now has a remote starter. Me likey. Also, I made a shopping trip to Barnes & Noble, which always brings me tons of happiness. Me likey.

Also, I got to mess with the receptionist at Great Clips today.

I walked in to get a trim, because your humble PartsGuy likes to look as good as a fat ugly bastard such as himself can look. Granted, that ain't sayin much.

So, she says " Can I help you? "

I say " Yes, I'm here to get my back hair waxed. "

The look on her face was WORTH it. The other people in the waiting area were just dying laughing.

The lady who cut my hair was really nice. I'm thinkin I'll prob get my hair cut there again.


Someday soon, I shall pick out another Fabbo Babe of the Week. Watch for it.