Anniversaries.

This is going to be one of the hardest posts I've yet written, if not the hardest to read.

October 23, 2005 will probably be seared into my memory banks for a long time to come.

October 23, 2005 is the day I lost one of my best friends.

I'd just woken up, gotten a can of Diet Coke, and cranked on my computer to look at the news and stuff. I opened my Yahoo messenger thingy, and started reading the news.

A buddy messaged me with the news. I hopped offline and called her husband. As soon as he answered the phone, I knew it was true. Hearing the shock and pain in his voice damned near did me in.

The time up to the funeral service is nothing but a blur. Emailing people back and forth, phone calls, and the trip down don't even register in the memory banks.

I remember standing with my friend Scott outside just before the service, both of us looking off into the distance, talking about trivial things.

I also remember turning to him and saying "Let's go do this." and walking in.

This was the first funeral I've ever attended. I'd known J had a lot of friends, but I hadn't expected the entire chapel to be chock full.

Definitely one of the most surreal experiences of my life, listening to the speakers talk about her and her life.

I miss her very much.

J was an big part of my life. She always had time to listen to a half-crazy parts guy, and wasn't afraid to give me a verbal kick in the ass if I had it coming. We were close, close enough so when her daughter was born, her husband joked he knew she was his child, because the kid wasn't born with a goatee!!!


I hadn't been down to visit in a while, what with being 6 hours away. I regret that now.

Just recently, I got some pics of her daughter in an email. Spittin' image.

Another memory of that weekend was after the service. A few of us were standing around talking, and it occurred to us that the Pizza Hut across the parking lot might be a better place to talk than in a parking lot.

There were 15-20 of us, all quite boisterous, and yelling for more beer every 10 minutes or so. I still chuckle, thinking about that poor server who was scared to death of this table full of crazy people, and I remember thinking J would consider that a proper sendoff.

Do your PartsGuy a favor, willya?

Call up an old friend you haven't spoken to in some time, just because you can.

What I haven't been able to figure out is why I haven't cried my eyes out yet.