On owning a pickup truck

Ok, so a lil bit ago, i threatened said I'd write about some of the obervations I've made since getting my truck.

I am nothing, if not a man of my word, so here we go. If you are nothing but a braindead PC moron, don't have much of a sense of humor, you might wish to visit elsewhere.

Anyways.

To me, the pickup truck is one of the greatest inventions in the world, ranking right up there with electric guitars, latex condoms, and the In-N-Out Burger.

Seeing as most automakers have seemed to have given up on RWD cars, it seems to me only natural that pickups have come into favor, especially with hormone-addled teenage males.

Let's face it, folks- when you see some lil FWD econobox attempting to light up the front wheels, it just doesn't seem right. Especially when you hear the e-box's tiny lil engine howling like a banshee. It just ain't right. Makes for enormous bouts of laughter when they blow up, though.


HOWEVER...

Let some guy in his truck start hazin' the hides, motor rumbling like a freight train and there's not a real man anywhere who isn't secretly thinking, oh, HELL yeah!!", unless he's one of those queers foo-foo metrosexuals who's more worried he might miss his appointment at the nail salon.

Yeah, the thought makes me ill, too.

Granted, VW and Chrysler did try FWD pickups, but hey, when's the last time you saw a Dodge Rampage around town? Uh huh. And I see Honda's getting into the game with their Brokeback, errr, Ridgeback. Newsflash- unibody pickups didn't work in the 60s for Ford, why Honda thinks it will now is beyond me.


Now, having played around for a bit, I've noticed a few things. For example, I've suddenly developed a taste for Marlboro Reds and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.


Just kidding.


See, some people would have no problem with that stereotype. I myself have perpetuated it slightly by yelling "hey baby" at an attractive female. My inner redneck approved.



Nowadays, you see some men of the foo-foo metrosexual persuasion driving pickups. Their pickups are usually 'champagne' in color, and have leather upholstery.



Yuck.



This week, I decided to replace the tires on my truck. Did I go ahead and get the same size tires, or did I go for bigger?



Remember this phrase: Bigger, Better, Faster, More.



They look damn good on there, too.



And having a truck guarantees you all sorts of new friends, especially when there's something to be moved, or they're buried in snow. Unless, of course, you decided to 'ghettofy' your truck and put stupid ass 26" wheels on it. Yeah, that works REAL well. (Not) Looks frickin' retarded, too.



Trucks are also good for camping, especially if you have a topper/ bed cap / whatever, mainly because there's no tent to set up. Toss a sleeping bag in the back, and you're good to go!



Cars aren't as well suited, mainly because packing the camping gear into the trunk of a Chevy Cavalier isn't a fun task by any means. (Don't ask how I know) Truck? you toss everything into the bed, head to the campground, and get your camp on! Vans work well for camping too, but that's a story for another time.

So in summary, Pickups= GOOD. Foo-Foo Metrosexuals= BAD.

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