I liked this one.

Amen, Calvin.


So, tonight was a fairly good night. I came home from work, and whomped up a steak dinner real quicklike. 'Twas very good. That got me to thinkin about stuff I like.

I like big rear-wheel drive sedans. As far as I'm concerned, there's no better way to see the USA than from behind the wheel of a nice, big cruise machine that'll roll all day long at 85 mph without breaking a sweat. The effect just isn't the same with a minivan.

I like leering at looking at gorgeous womenfolk. I'm a guy. I make no apologies for it. If you think that's wrong, you're either a complete moron, or you're a woman who resembles Roger Ebert, but with a crappier personality. Whichever. Pretty ladies= GOOD.

I like guns. Especially machine guns. There are few things more fun than emptying an MP5 machine gun into a target. Unless, of course, you move from the MP5 to a Tommy gun. Then, finish up your range time by shooting off a few mags of .45 caliber ammo. That is what I like to call Big Dirty Fun. Guns= GOOD.


I like cheeseburgers. Great, big greasy cheeseburgers. Slap a chunk of pepper cheese on there, slam it onto a plate with a whole bunch of greasy fries, wash it down with a tasty beverage of your choice, and you have a meal fit for a king, provided that king isn't a foo-foo nancyboy.

Now that I think about it, if it mooed, oinked or clucked while it was alive, chances are pretty good that I'll eat it. Meat= GOOD.

I like dogs. I REALLY like Labrador retrievers. As far as I'm concerned, they're the best all-around dogs to have. Patient, friendly, and loyal. Good qualities in a dog.

I like watching stuff get blown up. I built quite a few models as a kid, and quite a few of those models met their demise by firecracker. If there's a show on the TV dealing with demolishing buildings with explosives, I'm there. Blowing stuff up= GOOD.


Now, you may have noticed, there're no pictures of hot women driving big rear-wheel drive sedans, eating cheeseburgers with their black Labs while shooting machine guns and blowing stuff up. There's a simple reason for it. You just can't combine so much awesomeness into one photo session. If you did, guys looking at the pictures would look at them, and just seeing that would make our noggins explode with joy, and there'd be brains and stuff all over the place, and people'd get all crabby and stuff.


I should probably cover things I think are bad.


FWD econoboxes= Bad. I just plain don't like em.

I don't like women who resemble Roger Ebert.

Need I say more?

I don't like tofu. WTF??

I don't like poodles. About the only purpose I see for 'em is snacks for a python.


I don't like Bed & Breakfast places. The idea of spending the night in the same building as a bunch of yuppie morons, AND being willing to spend a bunch of money doing it is just too horrible to think of. Yucko.


So, imagine, if you will, a poor guy being stuck with his wife who looks like Roger Ebert in a crappy FWD econobox staying in a B&B that has poodles, and serves tofu for breakfast.

Frightening, isn't it?? And you guys KNOW that even if the guy was your worst enemy, you'd feel totally sorry for him, as no man should have to be subject to such torture.


So, I think I shall summarize for you.

RWD sedans, pretty women, cheeseburgers, guns, labs, and explosions= GOOD.

Crappy FWD econoboxes, women who resemble Roger Ebert, tofu, poodles, and bed & breakfast tours= BAD!!


With that, I shall take my leave. Next post will be my 100th post. I'll have to come up with something good for that, methinks.